it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
