No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
