NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
