he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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