Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
smell my finger.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
