do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
