Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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