Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
