I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
