you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
