The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
