Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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