Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
