Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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