Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
