Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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