What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
