There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
