Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
