When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You made out with two different species that night
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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