I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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