You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
What did we do last night that was yellow?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
