She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
