You work out of a Hotel?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
