We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
