i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
