I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
