i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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