Only a mothe r could love this liver
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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