Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
