So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
