Im at strip club and am horny
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
They have beer where we have blood.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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