You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
