wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I looked at my own cervix.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
