As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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