in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
