I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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