I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
someone owes me an orgasm
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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