question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
