yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
