I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
