just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
