my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
