Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
