xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
