I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
