Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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