Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
