Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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