I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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