I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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