In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
