That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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