I puked a lego.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The best revenge is premature balding
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
