Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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