He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My feet surprised me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
