Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
