You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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