It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize