my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
