I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
North Korea, Best Korea!
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
