in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
