everyone is single if you try hard enough
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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