you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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