At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
